it’s unix, not eunuchs

what would I change about me if the technology existed?

aural implant
- ability to listen to radio without headphones
- ability to engage in phone conversations without headphones or microphones
optical augmentation
- fix my sight so I don’t need glasses
- provide zoom to 1 mile distance
- provide 1 hour camcorder recording
- provide 1 gb still photographs
gastric augmentation
- measurement of all calories consumed
performance measurement
- avg hr, resting hr, peak hr
- GPS enhanced distance coverage/mapping
virus prevention
- virus screening
security enhancements
- firewall
cerebral augmentation
- understanding of all languages
emergency 911 information
- next of kin and guarantee of insurance

harder questions abound:
If I could train without shin splints would I do it?
and it leads to much harder questions like:
If I could be in shape without training and purely through augmentation would I do so?

I don’t know.