it’s unix, not eunuchs

I’ve been trying to think of all the ways that I shield myself from input that I dislike.

a) Tivo. I don’t watch commercials anymore. Likewise I miss out on health and weather warnings.
b) MP3’s in the car. I don’t listen to commercials anymore. This has the same ramifications, plus I don’t find out about traffic problems.
c) Selective deletion of emails. I delete emails solely based on subject lines. If it sounds politically motivated I’ll probably delete it. I like my friends but if I want to know about an issue(that I probably know more about than them anyway) then I’ll research it and not depend on a piece of propaganda that’s been forwarded 50 times.
d) MP3’s in the gym. I don’t even listen to the ads in the gym anymore. Or watch their TVs.
e) Unless they’re my boss I excuse myself when anyone gets religious.
f) I don’t have a home telephone. No one ever calls to ask me for donations or to sell me anything.
g) I removed the doorknob from my screen door. It used to fall off occasionally. I find that it’s much more useful to not have one at all. None of my friends are scared to tap on a window and say hello. All the salespeople who don’t know me don’t bother to try and sell magazines to some loser who doesn’t have a doorknob.

Overall, I find that all of these restrictions make it easier for me to say no to people when they want to sell me thinks I don’t want. I find it easier to say no to people trying to say they’re right when they’re wrong. And I’m left living my life in a way that I accept. I don’t spend so much time questioning why others want me to live like them. I just get up, do what I do, work, run, eat and sleep. It’s not thrilling, but it’s me. And it’s honestly me. I’ve got crazy ideas. But they’re not tempered by mediocre 9 o’clock news. I read something that set me off, I thought about how I felt about it, what it means to me, and then I decided what I think should be done. If I can help in that area then I do something about it. If not, I just retain my opinion in case some dummy wants to convince me otherwise.

So I don’t know. I’m constantly questioning these blinders I put upon myself. Am I becoming a hermit? I wonder about these things as I begin to more resolutely reject the ideas of having children. Possibly of getting married again. The longer I live as single man the more I consider that while I’m not exactly “happy” I am certainly free and content. In this day and age the only thing that marriage offers me is possibly semi-regular boring sex, expensive kids, and standards that I don’t really want to succumb to. I’d rather watch sick-ass art films on a VERY regular basis, spend my money on kick-ass toys, and live to my standards. Very few people I know now nag me. And if they nag me they do it infrequently or they get cut off.

What can I say. Perhaps if I met a woman who didn’t want to change me then I’d consider it. But I don’t believe that said woman exists. I believe that many women think that I’ll grow out of this stage and so they’re willing to overlook the statements I’ve made above. But I’m here to tell you that the ideas represented above are fairly well thought out. If you’d like me to date you for a few months before you figure that out, then please email me and we’ll see what we can do about making me your boyfriend. I’m not changing in these particular aspects. I don’t like kids. I like good love. I hate propaganda. I hate people with opinions that were handed to them. I hate anyone who stops by my house without a phone call…You people are lucky I didn’t shoot you. Oh yeah, and generally most families piss me off.

Just to be clear there are a few things I like a lot. Honest friendship. Rock’n'roll. Rap. Dancing. Working hard. Getting crazy with some friends and throwing down. Making a woman cum(sorry, but making her feel worthwhile emotionally is not satisfying to me…for that you need to see a shrink…on the other hand if she’s a friend then she gets some support but I’m not here to make someone’s life meaningful). Driving anything really fast. The charge of a serious mission. Watching people show up at the gym after me and leave before me. America. French Impressionist art and pretty much anything Hemingway wrote. Oh yeah, and winning!